Monday, June 8, 2009

Little April Rose

This has been a very interesting morning. I am in a situation where I am truly torn. I always want to do the right thing, but sometimes that causes more of a challenge than just doing the easiest thing. So, here's the situation...a few weeks ago, I came across a blog about Little April Rose that really touched my heart. It is/was written by a mom named Rebecca (also referred to as 'B'), struggling through a pregnancy with her baby girl, April, diagnosed with Trisomy 13. All of my communications were with Rebecca's friend Kelli, and she had offered me the opportunity to advertise our RuffleButts on B's blog with a donation in the amount of our choice. She was never pushy, nor did she ever ask for any amounts of money. She only requested a small donation in exchange for advertising, which is not unusual in the least. I was thrilled to be able to work with them for two reasons, 1st being that I knew our funds were going to help someone facing some serious medical bills, and the 2nd being that I hoped that our little ruffles would bring smiles to B and her readers. We sent one bloomer as a gift for April, but were never asked for anything more.

Today, I received a phone call, followed by about 4 different emails from individuals informing me that this blog is a scam. They, of course, pointed out that our brand is now associated with this scam and recommended that we discontinue the ad immediately. Of course I found this extremely alarming, not only for our company reputation, but also for the many people that supported and prayed for this family. As far as I know, this blog was not a source of income for the writer and I never once saw her solicit money or donations, with the exception of this ad, which was very affordable, compared to your average advertising.

I am so torn, as I have no confirmation that the site is a scam. The ladies that contacted me informed me that B posted pictures of a doll, claiming them to be her baby April. When I went to the site, all posts and pictures were removed with a note from B, saying that this has all just been too much. I was able to pull up the site from yesterday and saw the pictures for myself. I must admit that they do look a bit like a baby doll, but who am I to make this claim? If this woman is really going though the birth and loss of her newborn daughter, I can not turn my back, nor throw stones. I am not the judge here, and we all know, ultimately, who that will be!

If this is all a lie, this woman probably needs our prayers more than anyone could ever know. I just can not bring myself to demand that she take down our advertising, as this is the last thing she needs to be dealing with, if she truly is dealing with the loss of a child. On the other hand, if this is a scam, I do not want to be associated in any way. I would be completely disgusted and truly disappointed.

So, here I am...for the first time, in a while, completely torn on what to do. In my opinion, people are innocent until proven guilty. I sent an email to both Kelli and B this morning asking for their word that this is 100% honest. If I receive proof that this is a scam, I will not only immediately demand the removal of our ad, but I will truly be heart broken. Until then, I offer my prayers of strength to this family in a time of extreme pain and loss.

Update: At 3:30pm, I still have not recieved a response to my emails to Kelli and Rebecca. I therefore made the decision to request the removal of our ad. I am not judging, but in this situation, I feel it best to seperate ourselves from their actions. As a person and as a company, we only want to do the right thing and to bring smiles to the faces of others. I know that B is going through a world of pain, whether she has truly lost a child, or was so lost in life that she lived a lie online. Either way, she needs prayers of stregth and healing. As I said before, it is not my place to judge, but I prefer to be removed.

36 comments:

  1. I am praying for you and your decision. I have been praying for this girl since day 1. I recieved notice of her new blog through MckMama's facebook group page. I asked others to pray for her. I have had my suspicions for awhile. I however, am now pretty sure that this is just another scam, which really saddens me. I am really sorry you got sucked into this...

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  2. I'm still hoping it's not a scam. I guess only time will tell.

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  3. I totally agree that regardless of what the circumstances are, prayers are needed.

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  4. I am sorry you were caught up in this situation. And I must add your rufflebutts are cute, and a nice accessory for reborns and babies alike.

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  5. I have told many people who have been emailing me all day to see what I think - that it is NOT my place to judge - that if this is a lie which I truly don't want it to be that she needs prayers now more than ever. So much doesn't make sense. I'm very sad for her! I feel most disturbed that Christ's name was used for any possible kind of evil. That hurts me the most knowing many young believers out there or other families who were coming to Christ may be so deceived. I pray God reveals all the truth and this gets put to an end. Please Father, cast out all evil and bring truth where the darkness is trying to hide.

    http://74.125.47.132/search?q=cache:VNB3sz7Bx4wJ:littleoneapril.blogspot.com/+little+april+rose&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us

    When I went back and looked over the photos - it is clear they are not the same baby or even real baby.

    I'm very sorry that you have been involved in this at all.

    Praying over this entire situation!

    Deeply saddened!
    Jill

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  6. I think it's sad that you didn't get some sort of reply from either girl stating what was really going on. Instead you are left in limbo wondering yourself because you have an ad up on a blog in question and don't know what to do. This is all so very sad. I am really sorry. But I do have to say I think your rufflebutts are fabulous.

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  7. I have been following B's blog almost since Day 1, and have felt in recent weeks uneasy about it and fearful that it is in fact a scam. I admire you and support your decision to request the removal of your advertising. And you are completely right ~ whether or not it is a scam, "B" needs our prayers.

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  8. I have been following B's blog almost since Day 1, and have felt in recent weeks uneasy about it and fearful that it is in fact a scam. I admire you and support your decision to request the removal of your advertising, especially after not hearing word from B or Kelli. And you are completely right ~ whether or not it is a scam, "B" is in need of our prayers.

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  9. Sorry you got hurt by this! But, your rufflebutts are super cute. I don't have any kids, but I will shop here in the future.

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  10. I have to tell you that in the past couple of weeks I had a feeling I couldn't shake that she wasn't being truthful. Nothing was making sense. I thought she was originally due in April (hence the name April) and it is almost the middle of June? Sso I googled and found you. I have to say I am wondering the same things. I saw the photos and thought the same thing. If it makes you feel any better I never associated bad things with your company for being on her site. It is really sad if it is true.

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  11. I am appalled by your blog posting about this. What a terrible injustice to this family if you are wrong. This is shameful. I would rather be deceived and be made a fool of - any day - than to hurt a sister in Christ. In this case, a sister who has a dying child! I'd rather give someone the benefit of the doubt and trust the Lord, the one who should judge, to take care of it if I were to be deceived. I was looking at your ruffled pants yesterday and thinking how sweet they were - your actions have assured me that I will neither purchase or endorse your company in the future.

    In the interest of full disclosure, I'll be sharing the way you handled this on my blog and with other mothers.

    We reap what we sow, think on that.

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  12. I too have been following this blog and have begun to have some doubts. A reputable midwife, and the key word is reputable, would probably not deliver a high risk pregnancy like this as a home birth. They would use a birthing center or a hospital where medical access was immediately available. The longer this labor went on, the more I began to wonder.

    As the pictures were displayed, I was surprised at the condition of the baby. I am a grandparent to 3 preemie grandchildren and this baby did not look like a preemie. Also, most trisomy 13 babies have defects that are very visable. Not all, but most.

    The longer this went on, the more I wondered. How sad....

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  13. I honestly have never browsed your site before, very cute! I am not decided as to what is going on , but I wanted to let you know that I appreciate your professional, grace filled way of handling a very tough situation. I will continue to pray for sweet April Rose, because I do not have the facts and even if this is all a sad lie, nothing can be hurt by my praying. If in fact, she is a sweet baby girl fighting for her life, both her and her parents need to be lifted up. I just wanted to commend you for the way you are dealing with things. I need to browse later as I have almost 2 year old twin girls whose little butts are just screaming for some ruffles!

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  14. I can assure you as I saw the babies pictures and they are not a doll. SHe clearly had the look of a T 13 baby. We did not see her nody in any way so how are we to know that they was not any other things wrong? and if there is not then so what? I work with special needs babies and I think it is sad that we have to play this game with this poor mother. People wanted to believe that she was fake and there for looked for the FAKE ness and you know what I think, She's real....

    Hopefully, god willing the people that have torn this family apart never look for support from others....

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  15. It is never wrong to err on the side of charity and compassion!

    You never know how your actions will bless others. It can be hard to vet stories in Internetland, but don't be fearful to give someone the benefit of the doubt.

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  16. I saw pictures of the April Rose and as a mother of a Trisomy 13 baby who has passed away. April does have the look of a trisomy 13 baby. Her head was small and her eyes did not look quite right and her forhead was off slightly. I am sadded that as she is dealing with the more than likly loss of her daughter, there are people out there sending hate mail and telling her that her daughter is not real and that her grief is not real. She needs all the prayers she can get.

    Jill mommy to Daniel (09/11/03-10/08/03)

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  17. Just wondering if you've read:
    http://littleoneapril.blogspot.com/2009/06/936pm-update.html

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  18. I just came across all this stuff yesterday. Refreshed like crazy really buying into the whole story.

    Very disappointed to see the allegations and I believe them. The evidence is just too compelling.

    I find it deeply sad that this is the second time in two weeks that the Christian community has been betrayed and abused by a crazed blogger.

    I suppose the only bright spark is that it shows how giving and loving many are.

    I hope that people stop throwing hate back at those who are only exposing the truth.

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  19. You have handled this situation with grace and I would in no way judge you or your company for advertising on her site. You were fooled like the rest of us.
    Your product is adorable! I have a son, but if I ever have a daughter I'll have to come back. :)

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  20. momof4
    http://littleaprilroseisfake.blogspot.com/
    this shows the picture from april's mom's post and the picture of the doll overlapped as one image and they are EXACT! it's a doll! it's sad but true.

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  21. I am blessed by the teaching of my husband and last night he lead us through 2 John. I could not get past many things going on over the last three weeks and especially the last three days. As a Mom who has delivered high risk twice - there is NOT one mid-wife that would come near me let alone allow me to deliver at home. There is no way. It breaks my heart regardless of true or not - how badly this young person needs prayers. To use God's name and let so many people fall emotionally into wanting to help - because that is what God's children do - love on one another in truth.

    God is love. Love is truth. Jesus is truth. His word is truth. Truth is the foundation of love. Love and obedience always go together. Perfect love casts out all fear!

    Darkness hides from the light.

    If this was all true - which I prayed it was for many sakes who might get stumbled by something this wrong if all a lie - that they would stop being hiding.

    I don't know one blog that asks for prayers - Riggs, MckMama, Smith's, Kayleigh, and the list goes on that kept themselves or their children in hiding. I don't know one blog that invites people so deeply into their story that hides so much about themselves. I just kept finding that odd.

    I woke up this morning and their blog is gone. I pray that God truly touches the lives of all who have been hurt by this situation.

    I didn't know about the other blogger who lied about their childs disease until yesterday when this was all coming to a head. I'm deeply saddened for people who are that hurt to want to hurt others in such a deep way. I am praying that the little child hurt by their mother gets well quickly and never hurt again!

    You did a beautiful job sharing the truth in love. You did not pick on anyone or handle this outside of grace.

    I'm touched by your wanting to help so much - and it blesses our Father's heart that you didn't pull away but wanted to stand by their sides in love.

    I too love your ruffle products and will be ordering for our precious 19 month old whose little bottom is definitely in need of your products! :)

    Blessings and love,
    Jill

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  22. What a terrible situation for you to be in.
    On a side note, when our little girl comes home (adoption) she will be sporting a rufflebutt! I can't wait to order one!

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  23. Oh my GOSH, for REAL? I have also been following April's (or rather, B's) blog, and this morning found that the blog had been removed, as had Rachael's. I actually googled "april rose blog" to find out what had happened. I noticed that MckMama tweeted that she would share her thoughts on the "situation" which made me suspicious that there really could be more to this than "B" being upfront.

    Oh how very sad. I totally support your decision. I think it's the only thing you could do.

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  24. This is sad, but i agree B needs more prayers now than ever before

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  25. I think you have handled the situation well. You have a business to run. I admit, I had never heard of ruffle butts before I saw it on "B's" blog. I LOVE them & have passed the web address along to many other mom's!! I personally don't think anyone would hold it against you that you were advertising on her page. You obviously got scammed just like the rest of us.

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  26. (((HUGS))) God bless you for your kindness, grace and class in this horribly sad situation. I truly agree, we all need to continue praying for 'B.'
    There's mention of another recent situation like this. Would anyone care to elaborate? The only reason I am interested, is because my daughters and I are currently helping out several little ones via online networks, such as Blogger.

    Can't wait to order some Ruffle Butts~they are truly adorable! You're in my thought's and prayers...
    (((HUGS))) G'Ma~rella

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  27. I don't know if you have read MckMama's blog tonight about this whole ordeal, but it offers the latest update, written by three of Becca's friends, and it is indeed a scam. So sorry you were victim to this too. www.mycharmingkids.net

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  28. The baby didnt look real to me. she didnt just claim that the baby had trisomy 13 she also claimed that she had holoprosencephaly which is characterised by facial defects. that among other things mentioned were what made me very suspicious of that blog ever since the posting of the ultrasound photo. i think you were very polite and graceful in addressing this and that Kairas comments were totally out of line.

    sarah

    your clothing line is adorable by the way!

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  29. Kaira and Chrissie~ I hope you now realize that this is, indeed, a scam and that the "mother" has admitted this herself. She apparently looked at it as little more than a creative writing assignment.

    Says the Chicago Tribune,

    She had expected only a handful of friends to read it, but when her first post got 50 comments, she was hooked...."I've always liked writing. It was addictive to find out I had a voice that people wanted to hear," Beushausen said..."Soon I was getting 100,000 hits a week, and it just got out of hand, I didn't know how to stop. ... One lie led to another."

    You both owe Jill an immediate apology.

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  30. In my previous comment above, I was asking for an apology for "Jill". I believe that should have read, "Amber". The owner of this blog deserves an apology from Chrissie, Kaira, Momof4and anyone else who attacked the author of this blog.

    (And the Rufflebutts make me wish I had someone to dress in them! Don't think I could get my seven-year-old "baby" to wear them, however... Hopefully you'll still be making them when I have grandkids!)

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  31. I love your cute clothes and don't think you need to worry that your brand was associated with a scam artist. She posted an apology today on the blog site confirming that she made the whole thing up. So many of us out there were duped by her convincing story and I don't think anyone in their right minds would fault another for trusting her.

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  32. You are a sweet girl and have a wonderful blog. Never think otherwise.

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  33. I am touched by the depth of your character and faith in other human beings. This only underscores why your company is such a success!

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  34. You run a business, and a very cute business at that. You have every right to think of the way your livelihood is being portrayed. I believe you have handled this delicate situation with grace and integrity. I think the ladies who have torn you donw owe you an apology, but I doubt you will receive one.

    I don't have kids, but if I ever do have a little girl, I will certainly buy her some rufflebutts. :)

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  35. Its strange seeing how this really took people in, not because they were ignorant or anything, I mean because now people have finally discovered the truth behind 'B' who was in fact the con artist Rebeccah Beushausen.
    To be quite honest I am disgusted by her cruel deception and the time, feelings and prayers of others that she wasted and hurt. I feel so sorry for the families who had suffered the loss of terminally ill children or were going through a situation like the one 'B' claimed to be going through.
    What also makes me sick is that this is not the first time she has scammed others. She tricked two parents who were hoping to adopt the 'Baby' she claimed to be pregnant with. When the baby was born a friend told them it was still born. Of course it had never existed. Rebeccah then told the devasted parents she was going to Europe for cancer treatment. Another Lie.
    I am saying this because people need to be careful in the future, this woman and people doing similar things need to be avoided - Please be careful and get proof before being taken in by a blog or online agreement.

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