Working with your spouse

I get this question a lot...how in the world do you work with your spouse and stay married?? Well, Mark and I have a very unique situation. We literally spend almost 24 hours a day, seven days a week together. We work on RuffleButts together, we take care of Aubrey together, we renovate/build houses together, and we obviously live together. Most days I think he is the most amazing person I have ever met, a few other days, I want to kill him! So, where do we find that balance to make our marriage work? I'm not really sure. Our situation is unique, but if you are, for some crazy reason considering this path, then this is my attempt to share a few suggestions:

1. Be prepared for work to enter all areas (and times) of your daily life.
Discussions about websites or marketing plans over dinner are inevitable and even the occasional strategy debate at the grocery store will occur. Find a fair way to say "I don't really want to talk about work right now" that is acceptable to both parties, that will at least give you a time-out when absolutely needed.

2. Don't follow the typical gender roles.
There is no room for typical roles in this co-working world. All things with life and home must be shared with equal responsibility...or at least have a discussion where roles are mutually agreed. In our relationship, Mark does a majority of the laundry. This may not be typical, but neither is our relationship. And I probably do not tell him enough, but this is MAJORLY appreciated and not taken for granted.

3. Put the marriage before everything else on the list.
I must admit, this is probably the most difficult one for us. Although Mark is always my #1, it is tough to make him feel that way when I have a hungry child, a phone ringing, and a production deadline in front of me. If a business role is impeding on the marriage, schedule a "meeting" and find a different way to do it. Although work is work, sometimes the emotional "you make me feel like this when you do this" kind of conversation needs to happen.

4. Make rules.
This is another one that is on our "to-do" list, but I think is super important. Have a meeting, lay down the rules. Who does what, who has authority on certain decisions, and what are the playing rules? Schedule an actual meeting to lay these out, put them on paper to be clear, and fight fairly when something goes awry.

5. Relationship rules do not apply at work.
Maintain a professional attitude while at work. Your spouse is there for you when you are having a bad day. They even let you take it out on them a bit when necessary, but don't let this cross into work-time. And especially don't allow employees to witness unprofessional or unpleasant talk or attitude toward one another. You have to set the expectations of respect that will be emulated whether you like it or not.

6. This one should go without saying, but find some separation and schedule family-time.
Schedule dates. Take an occasional vacation with absolutely no work-talk. Realistically, there will be some work-talk during any down time, but try to set expectations and find a balance.

I am extremely blessed to have found my husband. He does it all...he is handy with pretty much anything; he manages the construction of our new house; helps tremendously at home (honestly does more than I do when it comes to chores); he is amazingly talented with his role in RuffleButts, and he is a loving father. We don't have a typical life or even close to typical roles. I seriously don't think there is another person that would be crazy enough to do this all with me, or the other way around!

MIA

I just realized that it has been over a month since I posted...where has the time gone?? I have been completely MIA for the past four weeks. Bridget (a great friend of mine) called yesterday me to make sure I have not had a complete mental breakdown and checked out! No, I'm still here, hanging on, but I seriously do not know which way is up at the moment. Okay, I know this is not the 1st time I've said this, but here's my run down of the past three weeks (so you know I'm not just whining!):

December 17th&18th - tear apart and pack entire office (including ALL inventory)
Weekend of Dec 19th and 20th - rent uhaul and make trip after trip of the inventory and desks to the new office
Dec 21st - last minute judgement call to cancel trip to Louisville in order to move to new house over Christmas
Dec 24th (Christmas Eve) - Load up truck and move three rooms of furniture to new house (still have not sold old house, so have to keep most furniture there)
Dec 25th (Christmas Day) - since all of Aubrey's gifts were shipped to Louisville for the Christmas celebration that we didn't make it to, we pretended to open presents and then went back to unpacking
Dec 28th - start setting up new office, while the in-laws come in town to help build shelves for the office and watch my little rug-rat while her nanny is on vacation all week
Dec 31st-Jan 2nd - friends in town for New Year's
Jan 2-3rd - still unpacking and setting up the office (wow, this takes much longer than expected)
Jan 5th - our gas suddenly goes off in the middle of the night and they don't get it fixed until 9:00pm the next night (yes, no heat in 20 degree weather)
Jan 7th - I seriously have no idea where the past few weeks went!!

Somehow we have kept up with orders and are still going strong. I do not know what I would have done without our fabulous employees!! Mary packed and unpacked her little heart out and as a big topper, it was end of the year inventory time! Kristina helped to keep me sane, and was a packing fool! I do have to admit, although it was super crazy and stressful, it was actually a huge treat for me to spend so much time with Aubrey over the holidays, even if we were playing the unpacking game all day every day!

As usual, I feel completely overwhelmed and totally behind on everything. I really need to get organized to get off to a good start in the new office, but I have SO much work to do, I don't have time to stop. We are trying to get our new Spring Collection from the factories, but of course, have issues as always. I found out after the actual ship date that not only had our swimwear not began the production process, but the fabrics were all completely gone. I had to start over, select and design new fabrics, and then begin working with a new factory to get them done in less than a month...needless to say, this is not easy! Our manufacturing contact is probably about to lose her mind as well, but the tough part about this business, well, any business really, is that it doesn't matter why you are breaking promised delivery dates, it just matters that you are breaking them. It falls on you, so it is up to me to keep my promises to our customers.

I am also trying to find time to plan. We all know that if you are on a journey, and don't have a destination, that you are really just wandering around. I feel responsible - for the security of my family, for the reputation of RuffleButts, for our employees, and for the happiness of our customers...we definitely need not only a destination, but a map to get there. I worked late into the night last night, and probably will do the same for the next while. I am 150% determined to do this right. We have a great product (they sell), we love our jobs, we have happy customers, we grew more than 300% last year...I think we have something good here, we just need to stay on track and follow our dream! Now, if I could only get a few more hours in a day =)

The Big 3-0

So, I have never been a big one on birthdays and rarely even celebrate, as I appreciate every year, but think of it more as a celebration for my mom than for me. With that said, this year is a slight exception...not to the celebrating thing necessarily, but more about the acknowledgement. I am turning 30 this weekend. I certainly don't think that 30 is old in any way, shape or form, but it is an age that makes you take a step back for just a second. Really, I still feel 20 in many ways. I have a young appearance, so I still get carded at restaurants. I often feel entirely too young to be running a business or being someones "boss"! But here I am at 30...doesn't that mean I am now 100% adult? Since I'm a mom, I think I would now fall into that category. I'm not quite sure how I feel about all of this!

I'm excited...I have a good life, and overall where I pictured myself by age 30. But 30, really?? When I'm in the grocery store and look down at the "born before 1988" sign to purchase liquor, I about gag!!

So, my husband was a smart cookie and decided we would actually celebrate this one...he even booked a hotel room for the night (woo-hoo!!). I think he's a bit afraid I might get a little bummed out, especially considering that I will be spending my actual birthday hosting an open house on our unsold home! That's a whole other story...but for today and this weekend, I am celebrating. Thirty years of adventure - ups, downs, friends, family, living in 6 different cities (so far)...and many more adventures to come!

FREE handmade beanies!!

We are giving away our beanies, seriously!! Now through Monday the 30th, spend $100 or more at www.RuffleButts.com and receive the beanie of your choice for FREE.

Gosh, I just love giving stuff away, so fun! And to top it off, the beanies are handmade by a group of Indian women that were taught to crochet to support their families. Many of these women are less educated and do not have another provider in the family, and this organization has provided them stability and opportunity.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Steal

I rarely post links to other random items or businesses on our blog, but when I saw this deal, I had to share it with our loyal friends. Before I was prego, I was hanging out with my friend and it was nap time for her little Hannah. We went through the whole putting her in her crib thing and then we walked downstairs. She pulled out this handy video cam thing and we watched as Hannah slowly wore herself to sleep. I knew this was a must-have for me when my time came! So, we put it on our registry not sure if anyone "loved" us enough to buy this pricey luxury, but we were thrilled when it was given to us! I was counting our blessings for our generous friends when I laid in by bed on Aubrey's 2nd night home, hoping that she was sleeping peacefully in the bedroom next door. Of course, as a paranoid new parent, I wanted desperately to go check on her, so it was the biggest relief to turn on the monitor to see my precious little angel. All of the monitors get mixed reviews, but overall we have been very happy with it. So, I was pretty excited when I saw this monitor on today's Buy.com Daily Specials email. I immediately purchased two for Brandon and Amy (the friends I mentioned a few weeks back) and had to share it with you too! Just in case anyone is expecting, this is less than half of what they cost when we received it...

http://www.buy.com/retail/product.asp?sku=212446173

And for our loyal RuffleButt fans, you know we just love giving stuff away! So, this is your first hint for our next crazy deal, announcement to follow soon...

St. Jude's Ravishing Red Bloomers

It is our company (and my personal) policy to donate a portion of our profits to charitable organizations, specifically those focusing on children. This holiday season, we wanted to give even more! So, through the months of November and December we are donating $5 for EVERY RED RUFFLEBUTT BLOOMER sold. We are only 20 days into the month and have $185 in the pot. I know we can do better than this, so keep those orders coming! What a great deal...you get something adorable to give to someone you love, while also giving to someone who needs some love.


Don't forget, these RuffleButt Bloomers are absolutely precious under holiday dresses and over tights! They are also fantastic all winter long, worn with her favorite legwarmers or over colorful leggings.

Mom 4 Life

I would like to take a minute to introduce you to one of our new RuffleButt Retailers...

www.Mom4Life.com

Heather, the Owner of Mom 4 Life, has a great story to tell. She is, of course, a mom herself, and with a "dream and God's grace", she started this incredible business. The coolest thing is that their extensive product line is comprised entirely of the handiwork of moms. Not only do they carry some really fabulous products (now including RuffleButts!!), but they also feature the story of the moms behind them.

This is a unique web-store for many reasons, but you can read a few of them here. You can also read more about Heather, her story as a mom and entrepreneur, and about some of the fantastic Mom4Life products on her blog at http://blog.mom4life.com.

Another thing that I love about this company is that they are totally on the same page as us when it comes to customer service. Heather writes, "Regardless of how many products I offer or how large my business grows, my primary goal will remain the same: to offer unique products at great prices with exceptional customer service! I am rather picky about customer service: I like to be appreciated as a person rather than viewed as a number. I want to do the same for you!" I love it when our retailers handle their customers the right way. We feel that every RuffleButts customer deserves this attention and it is a huge comfort to know they are getting it whether they buy the products directly from us or from Mom4Life.

We are privileged to work with some of the most amazing stores around the world and I am honored to add Mom4Life.com to that list. They have truly been fabulous to work with on our end, and as a mom, I am already getting into trouble browsing their site...so many of my favorites!

Happy Birthday Baby

My little angel turns ONE today!!

Happy Birthday baby girl.

Man, time sure flies when you're having fun!

Tutu Tuesday

The girls decided we were going to have a "Tutu Tuesday" here at the office...Aubrey let me borrow one of hers for the day. So here we are, although I think they suckered me in cause theirs look like like pretty skirts, not fluffy tutus! From left to right, Kristina, Aubrey, me & Mary...what a team!! Mark refused to participate, so he was the camera man =)

Just like Ellen Degeneres

I'm not usually a big celebrity gal and to be quite honest, I rarely have time to watch daytime TV, but I was thinking the other day, if there is a celebrity that I aspire to be like (or at least what I think they are like in real life), it would be Ellen. So here are my reasons why:

1. She breaks the mold.

So we all know that with the exception of Oprah, talk shows don't last long...and most of them, quite honestly, suck. They are the shows we have on in the background when the kids are running around the house or we're making lunch. Not something worth 100% attention. Anyway, Ellen took the risk of coming out with a daytime talk show in the first place and then on top of that, she broke the mold. She did it differently and it works! I hope to apply that daily here at RuffleButts. I read something today that was inspirational..."Be yourself, everyone else is already taken", a quote by Oscar Wilde. How true it this?? And when you think of someone living by that philosophy, Ellen just comes to mind.

2. She shakes her booty and sings on national television.

Not only does Ellen shake her own little booty on national TV, but she somehow gets hundreds of other people to do it too. I am a fairly outgoing person, but I would love to some day get to a point where I really don't care if I look like a goof on national TV. Not saying that she does...she's actually pretty good (she was awesome with the So You Think You Can Dance people a few months ago!!), but the best part is, I don't think she even cares! You seriously could not pay me enough money to do either one of these things in front of millions of people.

3. She makes people smile on a daily basis.

Okay, if you have ever seen her show, I don't think this one requires much explanation. She (and her must-be-kinda-crazy staff) come up with some very "unique" ideas, and I find myself laughing out loud, which does not happen very often when watching TV. When I started RuffleButts, one of the things that I loved about the business is that it was truly an opportunity to create and sell a product that brought smiles to others. I'm not doing it on quite the scale that Ellen does, but I sure would love to!!

4. She doesn't give a sh**.

Okay, I obviously don't know her personally, so I can only make this assumption, but based on her show, I would say that she is not afraid to do it her way. So, she's different, she's gutsy, she's silly, she's real. I can only imagine when they sat down to start the ED show that the "people" thought her ideas were kinda crazy. I bet most people thought it wouldn't work. She only wears pants, she dances and runs through her audience, she has goofy games and positive stories. Who does this and not only gets people to watch, but also get advertisers willing to pay the bills...she does!! She is not afraid to do what makes her happy, while also making others happy, and that is one fabulous combination! I am getting much better at this one, but only two-years into the business and being a natural people-pleaser, I still have a long way to go. Ellen, what is your secret??

5. She spreads her "realism"

Again, I'm not a huge celebrity gal, but whenever I see celebrities on the Ellen show, her "real" personality seems to be contagious. I think she makes people feel at ease and allows them to have fun. We all put celebrities up on a pedestal, but I bet it gets pretty darn boring going from talk show to talk show to promote your work. I bet they get worn down and just want to go home and put on some pjs. But, when they're on Ellen, it looks like so much fun. My employees were watching the recent clip with Taylor Swift when Ellen jumped out to scare her in the bathroom and I just thought "she totally doesn't care". When you see celebrities on other shows, everyone is all about following the rules and not embarrassing them, but Ellen brings out the best in everyone. I mean seriously, she gets well-known celebrities to sing in the bathroom on TV. Now that is just awesome!!

6. She's just a little nuts.

Life is full of responsibilities and I'm sure she has a lot of weight on her shoulders that she never lets us see, but she just seems to enjoy life. I mean really, wouldn't life be boring if we were all "normal"?? I am guilty of falling into my daily routine and being the responsible parent/business owner most days, but this is why I want to be more like Ellen...I don't have to be boring to be a parent and CEO. And it's just so darn fun to be a little crazy every now and then!

Okay, so that's why I want to be more like Ellen Degeneres. How cool to be successful and to be yourself! Ellen is my inspiration today.